vision.

My silent drives to work have become my favorite time of day. Yes, I am an introvert, so taking a moment to breathe alone is part of why I treasure this time. But I love it for far more than that. It has become a time where I fall truthfully at the throne, confronted with the sinful, self-absorbed battles of my mind and gently directed by the spirit to lay them down at the foot of the cross.

It’s often a painfully genuine time where my prayers don’t sound like they came from a “good” woman—because they didn’t; they came from me, a daughter of the Heavenly Father that is stained with brokenness and marked with failure. I yell to the Lord my fears, doubts, struggles, and pains that I feel just won’t heal. I lift up my frustrations with not finding systematic answers to my problems composed of bullet-points to follow on my way to getting where I want to be. I leave it all on the dashboard. 

This time is not transformative because I say or do anything in a particularly correct way. In fact, it has nothing to do with me. The transformation comes from simply this: Prayer doesn’t change God’s mind, it doesn’t bend his will to mine. How could it? He is the sovereign mighty ruler of the world.

It’s a good thing that I cannot persuade him to change his mind. He is the loving, merciful king of his people; a shepherd to his lost, easily distracted sheep. His will, though often hard to understand and masked as darkness, is far better than my plans, which are composed of too many “me”-minded desires and Elmer’s glue based solutions.

Prayer leads me into the presence of the almighty God and allows me to acquaint myself with Him. It allows me to be reminded that He is in control, and He loves me. It corrects my vision to see through His lens.

As I speak words from my mouth, he corrects my eyes. He takes my sinful thoughts and teaches me what it’s like for Him to be my vision. 

The hymn, "Be Thou My Vision" displays this truth beautifully. If you know me well, then you know that hymns are my weakness. But they are my weakness with good reason: the words are just so poignantly and powerfully true. Just read the first verse of “Be Thou My Vision”, and you’ll understand:

Be thou my vision, oh lord of my heart.

Naught be all else to me, save that thou art.

Thou my best thought, by day or by night.

Waking or sleeping, thy presence my light.

If you can get past the archaic language, you will see that this hymn, which was originally written centuries ago in Ireland and was translated to modern English in the 20th Century, is a prayer. It’s a prayer that asks God to teach us to see like him and for all else to fade from importance. 

If God is our vision—if we see things as He does—, then we will not fear. We will be confident that our sovereign Lord has it under control. He has not let anything slip from Him hands. He is at the helm of our lives and that of the entire universe, and his navigation is flawless. 

If seeing our circumstances as our loving God sees them will free us from the burden of fear and bitterness, then why do we still settle to see life from our own, convoluted lens?

The answer that I have found is simple. In our sinfulness, we are selfish. We want what we want when we want it. Our feelings, dreams, hopes, and goals are more important to us than anyone else’s, and as much as we hate to admit it, they are often more important to us than God’s desires. 

Selfishness is corrosive to healing and centering on our rightful and merciful place in Christ. It redirects thoughts away from the great commission and our purpose to glorify, enjoy, and find refuge in God, and instead directs us to the throne of self. A dangerous, nasty place.

It tells us that we must “treat ourselves” and look inward to ourselves for fulfillment. The world loves this destructive narrative, and our depraved nature is smitten with it, too. The dastardly duo winsomely smirks at sound of “you are sufficient in yourself” or “find true happiness in loving who you are” or “be your own you, the world will thank you”. 

It all sounds like a laughable pile of discounted greeting cards that the members of the human race just can’t stop buying hoping they’ll fix the problem. They hope one of those empty phrases will land, and they’ll finally rest and stop feeling pain.

Put simply, this broken world celebrates with the evil one when every thought begins with “you” and has no trace of “Him”.

It’s everywhere in our world. Self-help books and blogs about self-actualization abound in this modern age. People try anything possible to heal their thirst for something greater, something more than themselves. But they just keep perpetuating the problem by creating solutions that fall flat and dissolve to helplessness. 

Solutions that look to measly, flawed humans for answers.

The truth is, I am just as guilty of this as anyone—if not more guilty. I nurse my wounds with pessimism; I nurse my wounds with shallow optimism and empty smiles. I combat my pain with generic lines that soothe for a moment and leave my soul wanting. I distract from my fears and hurt with sarcasm. I expect for encouragement from friends and family to make me feel whole again, to feel joyful in myself and where my feet are planted. I say the words I need to say to convince others that I’m doing just fine, but it’s sometimes just words I’m saying and not words I’m believing. I work hard to feel confident in my own skin, hoping that one day it will cause that lingering, empty feeling to fade away. 

But I’m missing the point. 

I think a lot of us miss the point without even knowing it. Hardship and the deep questions in this life aren’t just made to point us inward—to looking for how to improve ourselves and grow stronger in our individuality in the presence of pain. These questions and hardships are made to point us outward. To seeing who our God truthfully is and to finding peace in His control over our circumstances. 

Trials are successfully sanctifying when we forget more about ourselves and our circumstances and instead become increasingly entranced by the glorious character of God.

Nothing tells of this truth better than scripture. Read these verses and be encouraged that the face of our Father is better than whatever else you’re looking at. His vision is pure, true, and good, which wholly contradicts the prideful, dark, and hopeless vision we were born with in sin. He is all powerful, and He still stooped low enough in love to save us from ourselves.

This is just a glimmer of who He is:

  

Isaiah 43:1b-3

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

    I have called you by name, you are mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;

when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,

    and the flame shall not consume you.

For I am the Lord your God,

    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

I give Egypt as your ransom,

    Cush and Seba in exchange for you.”

Jeremiah 10:12 

“It is he who made the earth by his power, who established the world by his wisdom, and by his understanding stretched out the heavens.”

Ephesians 2:4-7

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.”

He is glorious, majestic, and full of a rich love for people who clearly don’t deserve love at all. The kind of love that is so powerful that I cannot even conceive it’s shallows, much less it’s depths. 

Wouldn’t you rather look away from the momentary pleasures and remedies that you find yourself tossing and turning rather than resting in, and look instead to the His face, to His character, to His overwhelming love for you and finally rest?

I know that I would choose the latter, even though in human frailty I often choose the former. I find that it’s a daily battle for me to turn my eyes upon Jesus, upon my God, instead of upon my idols or earthly concerns. It takes a stern, conscious decision for me to surrender my selfishness and remember that His desires are better than my own. That his vision will bless me more than I can imagine. Certainly more than any earthly thing will bless you. 

It takes prayers asking for our vision to align with His vision through His power. A sweet prayer that draws me back into the arms of peace, truth, and rest. 

So join me as I pray to have my sights set not on what brings me glory, but what brings Him glory. Join me as I aim to pray this often, as I fail to share his vision perfectly, and then pray this with great joy all the more as He shares His vision with me again. 

Be my vision, oh Lord of my heart.

Let nothing be of worth to me, except that you are.

You are my best thought, day and night.

Awake or asleep, your presence is my light. 

This is our solid footing in this ever-shifting world. The beauty and the saving grace of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit are the answer to all our questions and thirsts. 

Stop looking inward to satisfy yourself in your own strength. It’s truly a waste of time. Instead, look outward through His lens. Let Him be your vision, and you will find heavenly joy, purpose, and rest.

Let us be children that ask this of the Father and believe that His vision is transformative for earthly, downtrodden eyes: 

Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,

Still be my vision, oh ruler of all.

___________________

Just in case you wanted to read the rest of the hymn, here are the lyrics:

"Be thou my vision, oh lord of my heart.

Naught be all else to me, save that thou art.

Thou my best thought, by day or by night.

Waking or sleeping, thy presence my light.

Be thou my wisdom and thy my true word.

I ever with thee and thou with me, Lord.

Thou my great Father and I thy true son.

Thou in my dwelling, and I in thee one.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise.
Thou my inheritance now and always.

Thou and thou only, first in my heart.

High king of heaven, my treasure thou art.

Oh, God be my everything, be my delight.

Be Jesus my glory, my soul satisfied.

High king of heaven, thy victory won.

May I reach heaven’s joys, Oh, bright heaven’s sun!

Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,

Still be my vision, oh ruler of all."

Be Thou My Vision