traveling.

And God said, let there be traveling.

Let me begin by saying that I have traveled quite a bit over the past two weeks. It all began with my Dad’s 50th birthday wish—to go with the entire family to Disney World and stay at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. This wish rolled on for a year and a few months with no course of action to be made. Let’s just say that when my mom tirelessly tried to plan a vacation around 9 people’s schedules (2 adults with full time jobs, 2 college graduates, 2 college students, and 3 high school students who do not all attend the same school) it took patience and maybe a little bit of red wine to eventually reach a conclusion. But my mother, being the brilliant woman that she is, moved heaven and earth to set the dates. I may have had an anxiety attack or two about missing class (nerd alert), but we all made it to Orlando alive and gleefully. 

These are the things we’ll remember forever, right? Family bonding time trumps school always, especially when your family is as entertaining and lovable as mine. 

To me this trip was three long days of nostalgia and nothing but. So you could say that it was successful. It turned out to be exactly what I needed after midterms. Disney World is such a piece of my childhood, and it was so refreshing to revel in the delight of my youth.

Four days after returning from the most magical place on earth, I hopped back in the car to drive to Destin for spring break. You could say that this trip would be slightly different than the former, and it certainly was. Although, it was also uniquely wonderful. This trip consisted of 18 girls staying in one house, countless colleges heading Destin’s way for their spring break as well, and a bunch of random events that occurred.

When I and four of my friends rolled out of Auburn at 7:30 AM on Saturday, we discussed what we were most excited for during the week (of course with MC’s rocking road trip playlist in the background). Our answers eventually were sifted into one conclusion: the fact that we have no idea what is going to occur is Spring Break's most exciting aspect. 

And just like our conclusion, the week was utterly random. We saw random people, attended random events, had dance parties in our living room until 4:30 AM, made unexpected friendships, tanned a little bit, memorized the beauty of the shore, ate lots of good food, and made some prime snapchat my stories. We maybe even went to the tattoo parlor a few times. That one's up for interpretation. Honestly, I was a little worried about the amount of estrogen that would be building up in our house. Drama loomed in my imagination, but somehow we avoided it. Thank the good Lord.

Regardless, after all our money was spent and the week came to a conclusion, everyone’s sun kissed faces were all smiles. It was a solid week that would take great effort to erase from my mental scrapbook. 

All that being said, the drive back was cloudy—just like our mood. After spending a week with such exhilarating experiences, we were heading back to reality. The truth is, reality at Auburn consisted of the same great people which is a blessing, but when the beach and no responsibility was removed, the joyful and carefree dynamic couldn’t come with us.

My car proceeded to mourn this truth the whole way home; half the time we reflected on what happened, and half the time we talked of what will come. The bottom line is that we have a lockbox of fantastic memories to look back on when thinking of our freshman spring break. 

Following our drive back, I unloaded all my friend’s stuff in Auburn and continued on to Johns Creek to see my family and friends from home briefly before my dorm opened at 12 on Sunday. It was sweet to see them, but after a week spent with my friends in Auburn, I was ready to be back at school.

So now I’m back, intentionally struggling to stop dwelling on the memories made last week. I’m stuck aiming to press pause on the events replaying in my mind. 

This conflict beautifully represents a common struggle for believers: the desire to reflect on the mountain tops and not the valleys. It’s always easier to assume avoidant behavior as a believer. By doing so, sin, lack of commitment, idols, and displaced joy don’t have to be confronted. 

The terrifying part of this is that if you are not currently at a mountain top but pretending to be, you’ll only fool yourself. Countless days, weeks, or years could be spent avoiding the beauty of the lessons that God teaches in the valleys or plateaus. 

Through thinking back on my recent adventures, I have come to notice this quality in myself. I have been living in the light of my past mountain tops, checking my spiritual health box based on the strength of my past, but I have avoided my actual spiritual health of the here and now. 

I want to urge myself and all other believers out there to do a spiritual check up. Please don’t take this as a condemning request. That’s not it at all. There is grace that is far more sufficient than you could ever imagine at your disposal. 

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” -2 Corinthians 12:9

If you are saved by Christ, the blood has washed you clean, but you should still be aware of your spiritual state. In fact, as it says above, boast in your weakness. It proves Christ’s ultimate strength and worthiness of glory. Therefore, we should constantly be pursuing a life that is glorifying to the one who gave us life. 

Romans 12:2 confronts this idea perfectly:

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Don’t be afraid to dive so far into your relationship with the Lord that you are “testing” and “discerning” his voice. In fact, dare to go so deep.

Put simply, pay attention. We will travel many places literally and spiritually over a lifetime; stay aware of where you are so you can see the view of the landscape of your life that the creator of the universe and the great redeemer is painting.

Don’t miss a stroke. They are all uniquely and intentionally etched by the Father.

thus far.

“I’m so excited for next semester. I can’t wait to come back and we haven’t even left yet.”

During the week of finals, these words spewed out of my mouth like an erupting volcano: lava initially flowing rapidly and intensely, and eventually spitting here and there. It became conclusive that I had this warm, wavering feeling in my core that started to bubble up with what could only be described as innocent curiosity. 

Let’s just say that I was correct in envisioning my future exploding with excitement and change.

Because now I’m here. The present was my future a few months ago and now my fingers are swiftly clicking the keys to record the events that are a part of my life’s greater history that occurred between then and now. 

This semester has been a whirlwind—gusting rapidly and sweetly. 

It began with me being forced to leave home a day and a half early because of potential bad weather that would have impaired my travels. I threw everything I owned into the back of my 4Runner and drove away leaving behind a cloud of smoke and my weeping mother standing slouched and puffy eyed on our wintery brown lawn. Obviously, because of this, I entered the semester with a fervor of haste.

When I got back to Auburn, nothing had really changed. After about an hour of carrying white laundry baskets overflowing with clothes and odds and ends (a girl has got to have options), I was settled in again. In my home.

Christmas break began to feel like a dream. Those countless nights in my dear friend’s basement watching subpar movies that usually led to uncontrollable laughter and relentless conversation that did not pertain to the film now only seemed to happen once upon a dream. The Christmas Eve candlelight service’s warmth was consumed almost as quickly as my uncle’s homemade pizza that we eat every Christmas Eve. Christmas day lounging around with my family while sipping on eggnog mingled with nutmeg was only a dissipating vapor. The sparkle of New Year’s Eve fizzled away like the non-alcoholic apple cider that my friends quickly poured for each other and toasted with as the ball (and peach) dropped. Those moments were translated to a hazy memory—new life was on the frontier.

When in Auburn, I quickly jumped back into the hustle and bustle of the college social scene. It commenced the day after we returned for the spring with the viewing of the National Championship at my friend’s apartment where sadly, the climax of the night was throwing boiling water out of a pan, into the mere 10 degree air, and watching it turn into a cloud of smoke.

Then school began. I guess that’s of importance (to be clear, I do love my classes), but what shocked me the most was the friendships that I began to form. 

And I needed them. You realize that you need support and solid friendship when you are uprooted from a comfortable and loving home away from home. 

To explain this a little bit, I had bats in my dorm room. Yes, it’s quite a disgusting truth. My suitemates—whom I love endlessly and were family to me in Auburn—and I had been hearing them in our walls since November. The first week of February, two were loose in our room. I even translated my musings on this occurrence into a sonnet:

The Unwelcome Guest

Fluttering in the near ceiling, he schemed

of ways in which he could expand his world.

He sat perched on the bathroom vent, claws curled.

Today’s the day! Destiny had revived

his bold determination to survive

And his hope was precise; his luck had turned

on that warm Thursday afternoon that burned 

As he emerged through the vent, he dived,

thrashing his thin, dark wings while he contrived

a plan to slumber when he retired

on the popcorn ceiling of an old dorm

and when the blonde female owner returned

a scream echoed and she was perturbed

by the sight of a creature unwelcomed.

Upon hearing of this, all of our parents were up in arms and made sure that we would have a new place to live. We stayed in temporary housing for a few days, and then started to move. So we began packing. Bare walls and an empty room resulted. I was saying bye to Hall M room 415 forever—my first home away from home. Although, surprisingly, the inconvenience of moving my whole life was not the most trying part of the experience. The separation from my suitemates stung the most. Their presence was home and I was no longer in possession of it.

Being the homebody that I am, this was a direct blow to my comfort. It was exactly what the Lord knew that I needed.

Job, a man much more afflicted than me, expresses this sharpening process so eloquently:

“Blessed is the one whom God corrects;

       so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. 

   For he wounds, but he also binds up;

        he injures, but his hands also heal.”

                                           —Job 5:17-18

I struggled with grasping this idea for a while. Why was it so wrong for me to feel comfortable in my own home?

But he opened my eyes slowly to the depth of the sympathy he has for me. He knew that this situation was the jolt that my walk needed. He was aware that I had become so comfortable that stagnancy was creeping up on me. Ultimately, it was an overwhelmingly loving gesture. 

My new home is becoming home slowly. The dorm that I moved to is much nicer, and after a dozen trips from the car to my room, my parents traveling down on a Saturday to help move the bigger items, and the bruises on my knees from laundry baskets bouncing against my legs with every step creating a faint beat, the second chapter of this semester began.

With the move totally overwhelming the anxiety ridden person that I am, my friends provided such a necessary break and distraction from the mess.

You see, first semester my friendships were all wet pavement. This semester, amidst trial, the wet pavement has cemented. I’m almost always with lovely friends who encourage me and make me laugh until I’m gasping for breath.

Whether I saw the friendships budding last semester or they sprung up to my dismay, they’ve all become such a delightful surprise.

You can typically find us in village dining or the student center or on the green space by the concourse or at Waffle House at ungodly hours or even in the Walmart parking lot. Driving around has also become one of our favorite hobbies—even if it includes ear shattering screaming upon approaching an entrance in the woods labeled a restricted area. As the driver, I almost had a heart attack when I threw the car in reverse and Lauren screamed louder than Lindsay Lohan in the Parent Trap. We even spontaneously drove to the beach to remind ourselves what it feels like to have sand between our toes. Now, all of these places have been stamped with a watermark of sweet memories that will pleasantly haunt each location.

These friends made the bat disaster worth fighting through. It’s revealed the diamond in the rough—true, lasting companionship. I know that in tough times I should look to the cross to be reminded that he saved my life and also promised to protect it, so I did and he proved me right. He gifted me with a strengthening of my relationship with him—the ultimate gift—but also with the gift of countless friends. He acted on Ecclesiastes 4:9-10:

"Two are better than one,

     because they have a good return for their labor:

      If either of them falls down,

            one can help the other up.

But pity anyone who falls

     and has no one to help them up."

For some reason, in the middle of all of this change, the Lord laid one phrase on my heart: And even when you venture alone, you’re not alone. 

How beautifully true that is for a believer. We are guaranteed the abounding presence of our Savior. No other promise on earth could be more wonderful.

"If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

 if I settle on the far side of the sea,

 even there your hand will guide me,

 your right hand will hold me fast."

                               —Psalm 139:9-10