Someone asked me yesterday if I was still in college. After I fumbled over my words, I answered her by saying, “Actually, I’m not. I graduated a year and a half ago.”
Then it set in. And it’s true; I have been in the adult world for over a year, and I finally feel ready to talk about it. To be able to explain to others what I feel is one of the strongest temptations in the post-grad season of life.
As I see graduation pictures all over social media, I first want to say: Congrats! It is no small thing to complete a degree at an undergraduate or graduate level. You should be proud of your hard work and excited to enter this new season of life. I know your Heavenly Father is proud of you, too.
But secondly, I want to warn you about something you may already know: the temptation to compare yourself to others will inevitably come knocking at your door soon, if it hasn’t already made its way to you. And I truly believe that its one main goal is to get you to look away from your security and dignity in Christ. It wants you to find your value in how impressive of a life you are building in this world instead of the next. Don’t let it do that.
But I guarantee you, you will find yourself wondering if you should have lived your life more like that other girl from college that is touring the world, the guy that moved to New York to work in the financial district, or the ambitious kid that pioneered a brand new tech start-up. Or maybe you should take your career less seriously and settle down, get married, and have a kid. Or maybe you should enjoy your 20s—go out, eat great food, travel, have lots of friends, and spend your money on what you want.
Whatever the lifestyle may be, you will often wish you had chosen it over the direction God led you in instead. And it’s presence on social media will taunt you. You will wish you were living someone else’s life, or even that you were someone else. You will feel insignificant compared to others.
Simply, I think that one of the most powerful tools of the enemy is comparison.
It is an effectively evil tool that quickly gets us to look away from our security and value in the arms of Jesus and look towards the mind-racing anxiety and despair that comes with feeling less-than and inadequate.
The world wants us to compete for worth and importance because of how detrimental it is to our view of ourselves and our view of God. Essentially, the more time we spend thinking about all the ways we don’t measure up to those that surround us, the more time we spend rejecting the peace, security, dignity, and love that is endlessly offered to us in Christ.
Comparison pits beautiful creation against beautiful creation. It hinders our ability to look at another one of God’s children and see them as a soul—a person that needs the love and grace of Jesus, just like me. Instead, it trains us to look at others as a belittling presence that can make us feel small.
It warps our priorities and hurls us into a prison of self-centeredness. Comparison is a fruitless venture that leads to hurt, and can never lead to anything good, anything helpful, anything beneficial.
In fact, the 10th commandment (“Do not covet”, Exodus 20:17) and Philippians 2 commands us directly to not be jealous and to consider others more important than ourselves, which Philippians points out is only possible through the power of Christ in us (vs. 5).
“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,” (Phil. 2:3-5).
Do you think that God created you to be disappointed in who you are? Do you think He’s happy when you scoff at the direction He has set you on for His glory and your good? Do you think He likes when you second-guess if your existence makes a difference because it’s not as “impressive” in a worldly sense? Do you think He likes that you focus so much on the achievements of others rather than the heart?
I’ve asked myself questions like these many times in my life, but I’ve had to ask them more than ever over the last year. And in doing so, I’ve come face-to-face with my sin nature, with my desire for Hannah to be glorified instead of God, and I’ve had to ask for a lot of forgiveness.
The truth is, if we trust that we are loved in Christ, submit prayerfully to His wisdom and guidance, and follow the convictions of the Holy Spirit, then we can rest. No amount of comparison and the anxiety it carries in tow will change the fact that God is sovereign, He loves you, and He has given your life purpose and value in Christ.
You have God-given dignity, and the path He has set in motion for you is good. Do yourself a favor, and breathe. God loves you, He forgives you, and He has set you apart. You don’t have to compete for his love and security, and you never will.
So, post-grads, adults, students, parents, and all people, breathe in, breathe out. You are secure and valued in Christ. He fulfills the craving in your heart to matter.
And no, you don’t deserve it. Praise God.
As you face the temptation to compare yourself and your life to others, I want to challenge you to pray the powerful words of missionary and poet, Amy Carmichael--words that have truly challenged me:
“I wish Thy way.
And when in me myself should rise,
And long for something otherwise,
Then Lord, take sword and spear,
And slay.”
Because, ultimately, this struggle comes from wanting what we want instead of what God wants, and that is a deep-rooted sin of pride. Pray that the Holy Spirit would deal with that sin, so that you may be free to ‘wish His way’ instead of your own.
And therefore, be free to see others as God’s children instead of a competitor for value.
